Have you ever gotten your car stuck on a patch of ice? No matter what you do, you can’t seem to get out. You move forward; you sink, you move backward; you sink. That is what it is like to be “stuck in a rut”. Sometimes in life, you can hit “patches of ice” that seem to create barriers and limit your options.

The only one who can limit you is you. The key to overcoming a rut is to be your best friend, not your worst enemy.

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What Does it Mean to be Stuck in a Rut?

Sad lady cartoonThere are times in life when what we want seems to be out of our reach and gaining control appears to be impossible. Going through life is similar to swimming. If you are in the water, and you are not moving forward, then you are usually sinking. You can tread water, but you’re still not going anywhere, and if you don’t take steps to swim forward you may end up drowning. Being in a rut is similar to treading water. Choosing not to do anything is really choosing to do nothing.

You can get stuck in a rut for many reasons. Sometimes life can throw too much at you, leaving you unprepared to deal with everything that’s going on in your life. Other times you may simply be unsure of where you want go next in life. One thing is for sure; you can’t stay still. Life continues to change whether you want it to or not. The way to successfully have the life you desire is to create a game plan and follow through with it.

Everyone gets stuck in life once in a while; you are human after all. Even the most successful people have been through times when they got stuck and were feeling lost in life. You are not alone. The good thing about getting stuck in a rut is that it is only temporary. Although you may feel like it will last forever when you’re in the rut and looking for a way out, once you find an effective and realistic plan, you’ll be on the move in no time.

How Did I Get Stuck?

Life CoachRuts are all caused by one common thing — fear. Fear is something you’re born with for a reason. Our species has survived because we have the evolutionary tool of fear. The very thing that keeps you alive may be the one thing that keeps you emotionally stuck. Although it is meant to help you navigate safely through life, it can be one of the most inhibiting forces if it is given too much power.

Ruts are the result of little more than fear of failure. When faced with the possibility of failure, you will often choose to ‘stay safe’ or remain where you are instead of risking failure. It’s often much easier psychologically to accept failure before you even put in the effort to try. Succumbing to limiting beliefs and self-fulfilling prophecies, you will often unconsciously tell yourself what you can and cannot do before you truly know it you’re able to do it.

To move forward we must recognize the fears that are keeping us from taking action. It might be fear of being judged, fear of hurt or loss, fear of disappointment or disapproval. Once you identify and recognize these fears, you can actively work to face them.

1. Limiting Beliefs

Confused personA limiting belief is an unconscious belief that keeps you stuck. Since you’re unaware of it, there’s nothing you can do to remove it until you become conscious of it and question it. With the help of an online life coach you can discover the thought or belief that is holding you back and keeping you stuck. It is usually not something outside of you that holds you back, but the thought or belief about it.

For example: If you truly believe you don’t have time to start a business, you will probably let that thought keep you from starting a business. Everyone knows you need to put time into building a business and you might hardly have any extra time. But the truth of the matter is that you do have enough time, you simply make time for what your priorities are. By not having time to put into a business, you’re subconsciously declaring to yourself and others that building a business isn’t your priority. By actually going through your schedule and intentionally clearing the space you need to start that business, you can defy the limiting belief that you “just don’t have time.” If you don’t take the time to find out if this idea of what’s holding you back is valid or true, you could spend your whole life putting off something you really want to do because of one simple, but incredibly limiting, thought. These are sometimes known as excuses, but often it is deeper fears that keep us stuck.

Ultimately, limiting beliefs have a way of subconsciously clouding your vision and overwhelming you. They appear to be valid and make sense enough to get away with when they’re unexamined and unchecked. Every time you find yourself believing you cannot do something, take time to look into why you think that and what is really stopping you because it’s rarely what you think it is. Life coaches are experts at helping you discover these hidden roadblocks.

There will often be obstacles that stop you in your tracks and force you to re-evaluate your game plan. Instead of considering them the end of your journey, you often need to just draw up a new game plan.

2. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Crazy ladyA self-fulfilling prophecy is when we expect something to happen, so much so, that we end up causing it or allowing it to happen. For example: You have a social event to attend where you’re sure you aren’t going to fit in so you go out and buy something that you think will help you look the part. Picking clothes that you think others would be wearing, you chose an outfit that is completely out of your comfort zone. The whole time you’re at the event, you are fidgeting with your clothes because it just isn’t something that you normally wear. The fidgeting becomes distracting, your shoes begin to cause blisters, and you are sitting there unable to have fun or engage with others because you are uncomfortable and self conscious in your new attire.

In that scenario you thought that you wouldn’t fit in, so you chose to take steps ended up ensuring that you wouldn’t. Instead of working on your social skills or networking skills, you relied on an ineffective method to fit in and get approval. You didn’t intentionally set out to make yourself uncomfortable and not fit in, but by failing to make a real plan to change your predicted outcome, you ended up fulfilling your own prophecy.

Self-fulfilling prophecies are one of the biggest reasons you get stuck. When you repeat old stories in your head, telling yourself who you are, what you’re capable of and what you’re not capable of — this all limits your possibilities and keeps you from creating a new reality for yourself.

Expectations tend to effect reality. The key is to be mindful of your expectations and imagine yourself surpassing what you think is possible. Envisioning a positive outcome while being properly prepared to succeed can not only get us out of a rut, it can also keep us from ever falling into one.

3. The Martyr Complex

Sad businessmanAnother possible reason you feel stuck is because of a little something called the martyr complex. We all have the capability to fall prey to the martyr complex at times and it’s probably more common than you might think. A martyr is someone you might envision dying for a noble cause or sacrificing their well being or needs for what they believe in. However, a martyr complex is a behavioral pattern where you continually think of yourself as the victim or martyr in a situation in order to fill an emotional need or avoid responsibility. The martyr complex often takes on the form of you continually putting others’ needs before yours (even to the detriment of your own needs). While you may believe you want nothing in return, you usually have unspoken expectations or motives.

When you do things for other people, there’s a part of you that does it out of the goodness of your heart. But whether you realize it or not, there’s also a part of you that is ultimately looking for some kind of recognition or fulfillment. You may be subconsciously seeking approval, acceptance or gratitude and over time, this mindset may lead you to feel taken advantage of, helpless, resentful and stuck. Feeling like you always have to forsake your needs for the needs of others in order to feel fulfilled is a vicious cycle and a toxic mindset that is most certainly keeping you stuck in a rut and spinning your wheels. If you are constantly putting aside your dreams and desires to help someone else fulfill theirs, you might want to examine the real psychological motives behind it. Could you possibly be seeking approval? Could you be avoiding your goal because it’s too hard or you’re afraid you’ll fail?

4. Gaining a Benefit From Ineffective Behavior

QuestionsChanging our patterns and behaviors can be one of the hardest things we do as human beings. We tend to get into the habit of doing certain things because they have worked for us in the past. These things don’t always make sense to us, or to people around us but whether we’re aware of it or not, we do everything for a reason. If you do something or behave in a certain way, you’re doing it for some kind of benefit or expected result either consciously or subconsciously. An example of this would be stress eating. Food is a pleasure that is too often used to cope with anxiety or stress. If you grab a treat on the way home from work every day you are gaining the benefit of the stress-relieving qualities of food but you are not treating the source of the problem and therefore, your behavior is ultimately ineffective.

Human beings are wired to do things that produce pleasure and avoid things that induce pain (even if those painful things may be the solution we are looking for). Repetitive behaviors often develop because replacing the behavior is painful or difficult, so this just sends us into a vicious cycle if ineffective behavior patterns. The key is to recognize what you are doing, why you are doing it and what you are really getting out of it. To quote Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for ya?”

Staying stuck is often much easier than taking the initiative to change paths so you unconsciously set yourself on a course to nowhere. The world begins to change around you, and suddenly you are just drifting with the tide. Not making any conscious moves, the movement is taking you. Not making decisions about your life is actually making the decision to allow other people, other circumstances, and exterior forces to decide your fate. Instead of choosing to fight against being stuck, you wave the white flag and say, “I can’t do anything about it, I am just stuck here, poor me.” The way to get out of these ineffective behavior patterns is to realize that whatever safe or comforting benefit you’re getting from them is not worth it. Eating yourself happy is only a temporary fix to stress, you will have to find healthier ways to cope with stress in order to stop the cycle.

5. Past Experiences Can Hold You Back

Life crossroadsMany of us travel through life on autopilot, making decisions that are based not on reality, but on past experiences like our upbringing, or preconceived notions that keep us back and stop us from moving toward our goal. The reasons we stay stuck is because we continue to accept the status quo, whether it works for us or not. We unconsciously make assumptions about our situation based on past experiences that determine what we can and cannot do. Without the help of an outside perspective from a friend, mentor, or coach, we fail to realize our potential to change and end up staying stuck in patterns that keep us feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and frustrated.

Every experience that you have in life is stored and categorized into a mindset of how you believe the world to be. If you try out for soccer, and you fail once, it may not taint the way that you see yourself as an athlete. If, however, you try out for soccer, basketball, baseball and tennis, and you fail to make any of the teams, then it’s likely that you will see yourself as a poor athlete. The more experiences you have that confirm your preconceived notion of who and what you are, the more unlikely you are to try to change that perception. That is how you tend to allow your limiting beliefs to take over and become self-fulfilling prophecies. By letting your past dictate how you see your future, you are not allowing yourself to grow, learn and break free from your limiting and ineffective behaviors.

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How Do I Get Unstuck and Move Forward?

QuestionsFor every problem or task, there are tools to help you work through it and achieve your goals. Sometimes, the biggest hurdle is finding the right tool to fix your situation. Feeling helpless clouds your ability to think outside the box, be objective, and plan ways to overcome your obstacles.

Getting out of your rut involves you feeling full of hope and possibilities. If you can see the hope in a difficult situation or imagine multiple ways to conquer your feeling of being stuck, you’re on your way to prying yourself loose from whatever is holding you back. The transformation from feeling helpless to taking initiative begins from the inside out. To become successful and get out of a rut takes continual practice, motivation and relentlessness. We tend to dwell on the negative things in our lives because they create a more lasting impression on us, but if you want to break out of your rut, you have to focus on your successes. Failures stick with us because they can make us feel overpowering feelings of shame or disapproval from those around us. We often take failure as a reason to not try something again rather than something to learn from and use to tweak and perfect our future attempts at success.

Sometimes overcoming past experiences and trying something new is easier when you have someone helping to push and encourage you. Having someone like a life coach on your side is a great way to defeat emotional hurdles that feel overwhelming and insurmountable on your own. Helping to sort out real concerns from self-fabricated and limiting beliefs is critical to finding a solution.

How to move forward in life when you feel stuck is usually not just going to involve one magical tip that gets your wheels rolling. It often takes a combination of strategies and repeated effort. If you expect magic or someone to do it for you, it won’t work. The key is to go through the following steps with determination to get yourself moving again and eventually gain enough momentum to stay out of wherever you’ve been stuck.

1. Identify What is Keeping You Stuck

One way to identify what is keeping you stuck is by questioning your situation. Ask yourself, “What is keeping me stuck?” Look at your situation and ask yourself what‘s actually keeping you from doing what you want. Deep down, is it a belief? Is it fear? Is it uncertainty or judgment from others?

Also, what are you gaining from not trying? Are you gaining a temporary benefit that will just make things worse in the long run? Perhaps it’s more comfortable to stay where you are stuck — in your comfort zone. If you learn to challenge your beliefs, you will often find that they are not founded on reality.

Only by questioning yourself, and finding out what led you to believe what you do, can you overcome your limitations. Your perceived limitations are not the only thing that is keeping you down, your method of reasoning that leads you to believe in these limitations is what will continue to present road blocks if you do not tackle that as well. Change your mind; change your life! New ways to process and deal with emotions and obstacles can really change your momentum in life.

When you aren’t sure where to start or how to change your thought process, enlisting the help of a life coach is an excellent way to sort through your thoughts. Getting the perspective of someone who is coming in from the outside without preconceived notions about your situation, can help you decipher what is real and what is a limiting belief. It is an excellent nonjudgmental way to find support and learn skills that put you on the path to a successful life.

Keeping a journal is also an excellent way to gain insight into why you do what you do and how you got where you are right now. If you don’t ever take the time to examine your behaviors and the results you get from them, then they are simply random acts that go unchecked. When you keep a daily record of your behaviors and habits, you can gain more control over your actions and become more intentional in what you do. By reflecting on what you’ve written, you will begin to see the things you do that help you achieve the results you want. You will also be able to take note of the things you do that may end up working against to your desired outcome. This gives you a chance to re-evaluate your methods and create a new plan of action. Taking notice of your day to day efforts and their result is a powerful tool for being able to conquer what is holding you back.

2. Change Your Mindset

Happy mindsetThe problem with destructive behaviors is that they are self-perpetuating, and they usually lead to a state of helplessness. Imagine looking at a wall. The wall is the end point. It is the boundary that you can’t ever seem to get past, something that is blocking your vision and confining you to one side. If you can create a door on that wall, then you open the wall up to the unknown and you are able to experience what’s on the other side. How to get out of a rut and change your life is envision a door in your mental barrier to free yourself from your confines.

Putting a door on your wall involves imagining a result that is outside of what you would normally expect. Instead of staring at that same wall and accepting that you cannot ever see the other side or waiting for someone else to show you a way through, you have to push yourself to see all the possibilities that allow you to overcome that wall. Building a door is a solution but what about a ladder to get over it or a tunnel under it? What about a window? Or a sledge hammer? You must train your mind to be open to more possibilities and methods that may not seem obvious or expected.

Changing your mindset also involves keeping track of and writing down your successes. There are times when a good result happens, and we chalk it up to luck or something outside of ourselves, but the failures we assume are something lacking in our character or capability. We often take our failures to heart more than our successes and it wears away at our confidence and inhibits forward motion. If you want to change your mindset, you have to start taking real and concrete stock of what you did to make a change. The successes and the failures alike need to be stored, evaluated and used to keep you moving forward in new and more effective ways.

Don’t just make a mental list, get out a piece of paper and jot down all the things that make your goal worthwhile or a “top 10 list” of positive outcomes and successes. What makes your goal worth fighting for? Remind yourself of this to remain in a positive mindset and help keep your eyes on the prize. Anytime you feel doubt and fear creep in, refer to the list of possibilities and motivations to chase them away.

3. Choose Not to Be The Victim

Energized womanVictims stay victims because they don’t move beyond their victim mentality, they get stuck in it. Only you can define yourself as being stuck in a situation. If you don’t want to be cheated on, then you have to get up and leave. By choosing to stay and do nothing, you are making a choice to remain stuck. If you want to build a business, stop blaming your lack of time and start cancelling less important things to make room for building, learning and planning.

Stop being the victim and begin taking those incremental steps towards realizing your full potential and breaking free of those barriers that hold you back. By changing the belief that you have to be a martyr and by shattering your limiting beliefs, you can make it past any negative circumstance in your life and begin to make positive strides in the right direction.

The way to stop being a victim is to take responsibility for the part that you play in the scenario. By recognizing the behaviors that got you where you are, you are more likely not to put yourself in the same situation twice. Not being the victim involves recognizing how you got where you are and what benefit you are gaining from staying there. You then have to make a conscious decision to take action and move on from where you are rather than waiting for you’re your situation to change.

Sit down and make a list of those things that are making you feel like the victim. Realize that everything on that list can be overcome or changed in some way. Start to brainstorm different ways to make your situation better and vow to work on each item on your list and check them off as you go. By making a plan for how to tackle these issues that victimize you, you are choosing to take charge of that situation and no longer be the victim. Each time you check off an item, examine how the result was different and how you benefited from it. Beating your victim mentality involves paying attention to what’s holding you down and committing to take charge of the situation rather than letting the situation take charge of you.

4. Create New Behaviors

The best way to counteract the ways that we get stuck is to create new habits. When you do something new for the first time, it always seems out of place and strange. The second time that you do it, it feels a little less so. We all tend to be creatures of habit so the more you add positive and effective habits to your life, you will see them begin to replace the old ineffective ones that kept you stuck. Psychologically, people have a tougher time getting rid of old habits if they focus on the old habits, so focus on adding the new habits and they will eventually take over the old ones as they gain traction and priority in your mind.the more unconscious those behaviors become.

Consciously take the time to change your habits, your beliefs, and your behavior patterns, and you will begin to see more and more ways to break through your barriers and get out of that rut you’re in. Breaking through the self-imposed limitation of a wall that may have never really existed and changing your unconsciously destructive behavior patterns can open up a new mindset and in turn, many new possibilities.

Evaluate your new habits and behaviors to make sure they’re effective. When you do something that doesn’t get the result that you want, write it down. For instance, if you went into your son’s room and cleaned it up for him make note of it. In two weeks go back and see what the result was. Ask yourself whether he appreciated it by keeping it clean, or if you are staring at the same mess you just cleaned up. Making a conscious effort to see your behavior and then going back to check the direct result is crucial to seeing it as ineffectual and changing it. This will help you direct your focus onto the right plan of action for your situation.

5. Tell Yourself a New Story

The way that we see ourselves is the way that we shape our behavior. If you think you are an athlete, then you tend to choose behaviors that are athletic. If you see yourself as an introvert, you likely avoid people, parties and uncomfortable conversations. We subconsciously choose behaviors that fit in with who we believe ourselves to be and negate those that don’t match who we think we are. We tend to naturally limit ourselves by our beliefs and confine ourselves to stereotypes. No one can limit who we are and what we achieve besides us and yet we do this to ourselves without realizing it.

It is important to step back and ask yourself who you are. If someone asked you to define yourself for them, what would you say? Would you like the things you believe yourself to be? The true way to change being stuck is first to recognize the beliefs that you hold about yourself and then tell yourself a different story. Don’t be afraid to change it up and blur the lines of your own self-definition. The person who never enters a contest because they never win has told themselves that they are a loser. The fact is not that they are a loser; they just tell themselves that story and end up believing it and in turn, fulfilling it. It’s really that simple. Tell yourself a different story that actually leaves room for possibilities and potential. If you are afraid to enter a competition because you think you’ll lose, tell yourself the story that you are a persistent person who enjoys competing or maybe that you need experience losing before you win. Even if you don’t always win, you will find that trying is educating and rewarding.

The key is to tell yourself who you want to be, not who others have told you-you are or who you have told yourself you are. If you listen to the voices of negativity around you (and in your head) and take them to heart, you limit yourself. No one can stop your achievements but you, that is why it is crucial never to allow someone else to tell you who are and what you can do. Tell yourself a new story filled with hope and limitless boundaries where you are the victor who can do whatever you set your mind to.

6. Learn to Say “No”

The best way to get stuck is to consistently undervalue your own needs and put others in front of you. It’s okay to help others out but constantly putting your own desires and goals on hold will leave you feeling resentful towards them and helpless in your own situation. Practicing saying “no” is an excellent way to empower yourself. Wanting good things for yourself and making them priority is okay. It does not make you a bad or selfish person, it will simply put you on the road to a more fulfilling life.

Vow to say “no” regularly to things that do not help you reach your goals. Don’t be afraid to rearrange your priorities a bit and make “no” a more commonly used word in your vocabulary. You will soon see how liberating a no can be and how it can free you from feeling stuck instantly. Eventually the guilt of saying “no” will vanish and you will no longer feel stuck always saying “Yes” just to please other people or feel validated.

7. Cut Out the Self-Doubt

When you live in self-doubt you’re unsure of yourself and you keep second-guessing yourself. This makes it impossible for you to act with conviction and confidence. Whether you don’t believe you’re disciplined enough to become a body builder, or smart enough to get into the college of your dreams, self-doubt is one of the main reasons why you get stuck and fail to follow through with your goals. Lacking the key ingredient to success — confidence — you won’t even try because you’re second-guessing yourself, wavering from: “yes, I can do it” to “no, there’s no way I can do it.”

Albert Einstein didn’t talk until the age of four. Some of his family members thought it was because he was mute. When he finally began to talk, everyone was amazed at his brilliance. Not until years later did he tell the story of a young child who was too afraid to talk. Convinced that he wasn’t smart enough and too afraid to make a mistake, he didn’t try to communicate. That is what self-doubt does to all of us; it keeps us from attempting things for fear that we aren’t good enough and that we might fail.

The way to counteract self-doubt is first to define what your goals are. Once you know where you want to go, make a list of what to do to accomplish it and then define all of the attributes, personality traits and skills you have that can help you to get there. Most of us are embarrassed to brag about ourselves but sometimes, in order to see your own capabilities, you have to point out the good in yourself and give yourself a little pep talk. Challenge yourself by asking the question, “Why am I not good enough to do X?” Making a list of the skills, attributes and traits that you do possess may help you to see that you are just as smart, capable and worthy of achieving good things as the people around you. Sometimes we have to put these ideas down on paper or say them aloud to make it real. Go ahead and brag about those things you’re good at, it is not only okay, but it is also mentally healthy.

8. Be Optimistic

Wave goodbye to the pastOptimism is one of the most miraculous feelings on earth. It breathes life into you, makes you happy, and fills you with an energy that makes you continue moving on, even in the face of failures and obstacles. It is the momentum that helps you continue pushing when you’re stuck and can’t see a clear path out. Optimism is the feeling of hope when you realize that your present situation does not define you or your ability to succeed. The best way to find a new solution is to keep moving and re-evaluating your efforts. An optimistic approach to solving a sticky situation gets you moving and headed in the right direction instead of just spinning your wheels in frustration and futile desperation.

Psychological studies continue to show that the key to success in life is hope and optimism. When we think of hope, sometimes we picture the “pie in the sky” dreams that we hold. The truth is that hope is so much more. It is a mindset that allows us to approach life differently, viewing it with potential and possibility. It is the key to opening up and utilizing our many different options and solutions. Charles R. Snyder, creator of something called “Hope Therapy,” believes that hope is when a person has not only the will but the determination to realize their dreams. It gives them the ability to see other avenues to achieve their goals. Going beyond the limitations and obstacles in their way, hope allows them to envision getting where they want to be in more creative ways. It “involves the will to get there and different ways to get there.”

Likewise, research shows that if you see the world optimistically, it gives you a better sense of well-being and helps to reduce stress and fear. The benefits of positive thinking are numerous and they explain a lot about how people consistently achieve success and happiness. The research outlined by positive psychology researcher Suzanne Segerstrom states that optimism allows people to see setbacks as learning moments that are useful and worthwhile to helping them reach their goals. Some successful people even seek out opportunities for rejection and failure in order to get the feedback and information they need. People who are positive thinkers are also both psychologically and physically healthier than those who see life through the lens of negativity. If you want to change your life, look on the bright side of things and prepare to be impressed with how things seem to change. Looking on the bright side isn’t merely a cliché; it may be the best lesson you could ever learn.

For every goal, you have to make a conscious effort to change the way you speak and think about it. Make the commitment to only speak positively about your goals and the status of your goals, try to even make your thoughts about them positive as well. That involves cutting out words like “can’t”, “won’t”, “isn’t” or “don’t”. It also includes giving yourself grace for any failures that may occur as well as taking responsibility when necessary rather than blaming other things or people. Count how many times you have had to stop certain thoughts and words. You will be astonished by the many times you have limited yourself in the past with nothing more than using negative words. Those negative words wear away at your confidence and happiness. By replacing them with positive thoughts and words, you are creating a better environment for improvement and possibilities.

9. Use Visualization, Your Imagination, and Affirmations to Change Your Mindset

Business guy dreaming bigTake time each day to close your eyes and imagine yourself as you want to be. By imagining yourself being who you want and attaining the goals you set for yourself, it becomes easier to overcome the hurdles that block your way. If you’re a smoker, visualize yourself as a non-smoker daily. Whatever that looks like to you, envision it and you will begin to see this image of yourself slowly replace the current one. This is how you begin to tell yourself a different story about who you are and actually believe it.

If you tell yourself something enough times, it starts to become reality. It may sound simplistic and too good to be true, but it’s the truth. When you tell a child that they are good at math enough times, they often start to believe that they are. No matter what their tests have looked like in the past, they will open their minds to the possibility of better test scores rather than confining themselves to what their past efforts have looked like. Likewise, if you tell them that they are bad at sports, they are less likely to try out for one. The same theory holds true for you no matter what age you are or stage of life you’re in. Daily affirmations are an excellent way to convince yourself to be what you want to be. Mindsets change behaviors and vice-versa. Affirmations and visualization are just more tools in your arsenal to become whatever it is that you want to become.

Find a quiet place without distractions and think about what has happened throughout the day. Think consciously about the positive things that have happened, as well as the negative. Dwell on what you did right instead of what you did wrong, while also considering what you want the following day to look like. Getting lost in yourself and your thoughts while mindfully keeping them in a positive and productive realm can transform the way that you see your world and yourself.

10. Hire a Life Coach

Online CoachingSometimes it takes someone outside of your circle of family and friends to keep you on task. As much as you tell a story about who you are, those around you do the same and often don’t know how to help you. If you have help from someone who hasn’t had a chance to label or judge you, isn’t going to be biased by your past behavior and is willing to encourage you continually to reach beyond your expectations, you will see a transformation in your own mindset and what you believe your potential and possibilities are. A life coach isn’t necessarily going to be your cheerleader, but they will be there to encourage and push you while keeping you on the right track towards fulfilling your goals. They will always tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear which will benefit you greatly in the long run.

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Mind Transformations to Remain “Rut-Free”

Prevention is the Best Medicine

The way to prevent getting yourself into a rut is to deal with things as they come along and to remain positive. There are always going to be times in your life that are filled with stress and circumstances that will push you past your breaking point. It’s only human to get down in the dumps sometimes, but the key is to be able to pick yourself back up and remain on course rather than fall into mental traps that suck you in and keep you stuck. Taking life in stride is critical to maintaining a positive and persistent attitude. See every situation, good or bad, as a life lesson and worthwhile to your overall growth. Remember life is full of peaks and valleys, things never stay bad if you don’t allow them to. Keeping out of a rut is done by slowing down when you need to catch your breath, but to always stay moving forward with a positive attitude and a true belief that your dreams can be realized if you just find the right path to get there.

Nothing in life lasts forever. If you get into a fight with a family member or you are passed up for that promotion you wanted, it is just a valley and only temporary. The key is to recognize when you are hitting a patch, avoid it when you can, but make sure that you have the tools to get unstuck when you can’t. That involves always keeping in mind where you are heading and what you want and not losing sight of it. Making a conscious effort to fight self-doubt, avoid habitually unproductive behaviors and telling yourself a story of success are all integral to a life that is rich and full.

Fears and Obstacles are Like Dirty Laundry

Understand who you areAlmost everyone hates to do laundry. So, instead of tackling it daily, we buy hampers to put our dirty clothes in. Putting them out of sight, we allow them to pile up. Then one day we realize the pile is overflowing from the hamper and we are left with a more overwhelming task. The key is never to let the laundry pile up. Dealing with things as they come along is an excellent way to stay on task and to stop us from getting stuck.

Dirty laundry in your life is one of those things that we don’t want to confront. Whether it is the fear of failure, wishing it would just disappear, fear of being judged or feeling like it is too overwhelming of an obstacle for us to handle. Dealing with your dirty laundry involves always being conscious of what we allow to build up in our lives and tackling even the things we don’t want to because it will pay off in the end. Seeing every day as a chance to better our lives and starting with an empty laundry basket is the key to success. Regularly choosing behaviors that lead to the results we desire while minimizing those that lead to limiting beliefs or unproductive results is imperative to achieve your goals in life.

Get the Support, Perspective, and Guidance You Need

Consult with a life coachIn life, there are times when we need the help of others to get us through rough patches. You now have the tools to fight against being stuck in a rut, but sometimes tools aren’t enough to get us there if we aren’t sure how to use them properly. We have to be taught how to use them and what situations to use them in before we fully understand why they are important sometimes.

Instead of beating your head against the wall, or spinning your wheels to no avail, you may need someone to give you the push you need to regain traction in your life. A life coach is someone who not only can explain how to use the tools you have in your arsenal, they can give you that extra boost of encouragement and motivation you need to get unstuck. They can also teach you how to see the world in a different way, open up the walls that confine you and keep you moving steadily ahead.

How it works

Create the life you’ve always wanted

Free Consultation Totally Confidential Easy to Get Started

Get matched from over 300+ certified life coaches

Our coaches are certified professionals who have been screened and tested.
We personally hand-pick each of our coaches to make sure they have the proper training, education, and experience.

Angela Baker

Angela Baker

Career Coach

Maria Busch

Maria Busch

Happiness Coach

Kathy Jacobson

Kathy Jacobson

Relationship Coach

Chrisph Nauer

Christoph Nauer

Achievement Coach

Roslyn Whitney

Roslyn Whitney

Motivation Coach

Peter Lambert

Peter Lambert

Confidence Coach

Our coaches have been certified by

CJ Lemky

“I’m Happier, Motivated, and More Positive Now”

After finding my life coach, I’m now happier, more positive, more motivated, and I have tangible results. I’m now achieving my goals and living the life I was meant to live. I feel way more confident and powerful now.

CJ Lemky, CEO at ProfitPilot, Calgary, CA
Debbie Green

“I’m Now Confident and Empowered”

Coaching is fun! I’m no longer lost. I feel so powerful, inspired, motivated, worthy, and loved. Hear me roar!

Debbie Green, Operations Manager at Fedex, Los Angeles, CA
A'ric Jackson

“I Finally Uncovered My Mental Block”

After I found my coach, in just one session, I discovered what was holding me back. My coach found my blind spot that I’ve had for years.

A'ric Jackson, Award-Winning Speaker and 5-Time Published Author, Atlanta, GA
Charlotte Keys

“I Found Happiness and Hope”

Before coaching I felt hopeless. But with coaching I can meet my goals and find true happiness. I’d absolutely recommend Life Coach Spotter.

Charlotte Keys, Accountant at Herr's Foods, Clemmons, NC
David McEwen
Coaching Transformed My Life Completely

When I try to do it on my own it’s really difficult. After coaching I am motivated to move forward and I know how to reach my goals.

David McEwen, student at Alvernia University, PA
Joe Kinder

“I Got a Clear Direction and Purpose in My Life”

Life Coach Spotter has given me a clear direction and motivated me. I defined my goals and now I’m actively pursuing them.

Joe Kinder, Alarm System Salesman, University Heights, CA
Maddie Wise

“I Discovered What I Really Want in My Life”

I grew so much in one conversation. If you want to discover what you really want in life, get coaching with Life Coach Spotter. You’ll move through blocks, make big decisions, and move forward quickly.

Maddie Wise, Student at the University of Kansas, Mulvane, KS