Well, there I was – feeling sorry for myself. What? A personal development coach and NLP practitioner feeling sorry for himself?! Surely not! What kind of an attitude is that?! After all, we’re supposed to be the positive ones, always looking on the bright side, always in control of our thoughts and emotions. And if we can’t set a positive example, what hope do our clients have?!

I know all that, and I know the power of my attitude. Most of the time I am positive in the face of adversity. I look for the lessons hidden in the difficulty, and try to find a way to make the challenge work to my advantage. I help others to do the same as well as I coach them on their journey towards the attainment of their goals.

I will sometimes meet with my clients and find them feeling quite down, beaten – as if they feel like giving up on their dreams because nothing seems to be working out despite the fact that they are doing absolutely everything right. When this happens, I bring my client back to the reason they set their goal in the first place and do my utmost to motivate and inspire them, to look at everything good they have going for them in their lives, and to remind them of the power of their attitude. And sometimes it’s harder than others, but it usually always works.

But on this occasion, I was the one feeling down, beaten, and angrily wondered just who in the hell I was kidding trying to be a successful life coach. Nothing was working. Nothing. I was doing everything right to improve my business, and simply wasn’t getting anywhere.

And as I sat there, stewing in my own annoyance and dissatisfaction, knowing full well that it was I who was indulging in the negative thinking, creating the painful feelings of hopelessness, worry and anxiety, I remembered something I had heard years ago. It was a statement that I found somewhat odd at the time, absurd even, but it was one that stuck in my memory. And it was one that I always brought out when faced with a client who was having a particularly tough time.

What was the statement? Well, I’ll get to that soon.

As soon as it popped into my mind on this particular occasion, I was reminded of what I always do when I’m having a tough time on my journey. I return to a film that I first saw in the cinema when I was just 7 years old. It is the only film I’ve ever seen where the audience was so fully engaged, so emotionally involved in what was happening on the screen that they were all cheering wildly, totally forgetting that they were sitting in a theatre, watching a movie. I’ll never forget that experience as long as I live.

The film was Rocky. I remember cheering for him as well in the last ten minutes of the film as he slugged it out toe-to-toe with Apollo Creed, and took a beating that would have left most people either unconscious or totally ready to surrender.

So I went and grabbed the film from my collection and watched it. I found myself in tears of admiration as Rocky, after having been knocked to the canvas by Creed in the final round, dizzily pulls himself back to his feet on the ropes and motions to the incredulous Creed to “come on”. The fact is that Rocky wasn’t the most talented or graceful fighter. He simply refused to give up.

And the tears came because I know that this isn’t just a film. It is a perfect metaphor for life. Specifically, it’s about Sylvester Stallone’s life, and his struggle to make it as an actor, but it applies to everyone who has a dream. When I first saw that film as an unwitting 7 year old, I didn’t know anything about Stallone’s struggle. I subsequently learned that what he went through to “make it” as they say, was every bit as painful and difficult as that boxing match was for Rocky – indeed, I would say even more so.

The fact is that, like Rocky, Stallone isn’t the most talented or powerful actor, and like Rocky, Stallone simply refused to give up. His story is an incredible one, and one worth keeping in mind when you face the tough times on your own journey as you struggle to make your dream into a reality.

Stallone knew from the time he was quite young exactly what he wanted to do – he wanted to make it as an actor and filmmaker. He really saw this as a perfect vehicle to inspire people, and he wasn’t willing to settle for anything else.

But as with most goals and dreams, there were numerous obstacles standing in Stallone’s way. He left university before completing his course where he studied drama, and moved to New York to make it as an actor. He auditioned time and time and time again for casting agents and met with no success. He was harshly rejected, told that he should pursue some other career as he would never make it as an actor. He was rejected over a thousand times, often by the same agents. The fact was that Stallone just wasn’t the actor or star material that these agents were looking for. But he knew what he wanted, and he refused to give up.

He actually stayed overnight in one agent’s office just in order to get a meeting, and his persistence on this occasion resulted in his first acting job. But despite this, Stallone wasn’t able to gather any momentum, and continued to be rejected again and again after this small triumph.

Things began to look very bleak for the aspiring actor. Stallone had refused to take a “normal” job because he knew that if he did this, his dream of becoming a successful actor would die. He had run out of money and was desperately struggling simply to buy food and pay for heating and rent. He was at such a low point financially that he even resorted to hocking his wife’s jewellery which pretty much ended his relationship with her.

During this time, Stallone had also been writing screenplays and trying to sell them, also with absolutely no success. He continued to face rejection after rejection of his writing as well. Nothing was working despite his best efforts.

Stallone recounts that the lowest day of his life was when he was so broke that he actually stood in front of a liquor store and attempted to sell his dog, which he could no longer afford to feed, to passersby. Someone finally gave him the lowly sum of $25 for the animal, which Stallone described as his best friend in life. It broke his heart to have to do this, and he walked away in tears.

How many people would have simply given up at this point? The fact was that nothing whatsoever was working out for Stallone. But he knew what he wanted, and despite the fact that he may not have been the best actor or writer, he point blank refused to give up.
One day he was watching a boxing match on TV between all-time great Muhammad Ali and underdog Chuck Wepner. Wepner took an awful beating from Ali, but he went the distance, lasted the 15 rounds. And the dogged determination of Wepner gave Stallone an idea for a movie.

He wrote feverishly for more than 20 straight hours, and Rocky was born. He was shaking with excitement when he finished writing. He knew this was it. This would be the script that would make it happen for him.

So he went out and tried to sell it. And as you might guess, no one was interested. He was told the story was predictable, stupid, sappy. Still, Stallone would not give up. He kept going, and finally someone expressed an interest in making the movie. They loved the script and offered the broke, starving Stallone $125,000 for it.

It looked like things were finally coming together, but then something went wrong. Stallone wanted to star in the movie, and the people who wanted to make it were totally against this. They had no confidence in his ability to act and wanted to cast someone else in the role. This was a deal breaker for Stallone. Despite his grim financial situation, he refused the offer and continued to try to sell the script.

Some time later the same people contacted Stallone and offered him $250,000 for the script on the condition that he not star in the movie. He refused. He knew what he wanted, and was not prepared to settle for anything less. They eventually wound up offering him $325,000, which he also refused.

Stallone was destined to be Rocky, and he knew it. The people who wanted his script finally compromised and allowed him to star in the film, and gave him just $35,000, which at the time was still a small fortune for Stallone.

The first thing he did once he had the money was to return to the liquor store where had sold his dog in the hopes that the man who had bought him might come by again. He wanted to buy his dog back. After three days the man did come by, but refused to sell the dog back. Stallone wound up giving this man $15,000 and a bit part in the movie in order to get his best friend back! The dog is actually the same dog that’s in the film!

Rocky grossed over $200,000,000 worldwide and won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1976. A great success, I think you’ll agree. And this all came in spite of the fact that Stallone isn’t the best actor the world has ever seen. In spite of the fact that he isn’t the best writer. In spite of the fact that no casting agents had any confidence in his ability to act or to become a movie star. In spite of the fact that Stallone was doing everything right, and nothing was working out, he eventually, because of his determination and perseverance, achieved his desired outcome, to live his dream of becoming an actor.

So now back to that odd little statement that popped into my mind as I wallowed.

Reminding myself of Stallone’s story, its metaphorical and emotionally powerful telling through the film Rocky, I lifted myself off the canvas, got back up and got on with building my coaching business. And because of that, I get to help people today – people who might be feeling like giving up on their dream, because nothing seems to be working out.

I always tell people Stallone’s story, and remind them of the tremendous power of their attitude, and that even if all the facts might be pointing to their lack of success, I quote that little odd line to them that stuck with me:

When your attitude is right, the facts don’t count.